*/ ALWAYS ON MY MIND

[adrik n. lestrange]

[/color] adalynn dimitrov.
words: 1225
music: watching hp6. (:
notes: i couldn't remember if he knew she was preggo or not...so i just went with it, haha.

[/ul]

adrik lestrange had a lot on his mind. even that was probably an understatement, given what had happened to him in the past few months. it was a particularly hard thing to imagine, living the life of a lestrange. he had an extremely good support system, between his brothers and his sisters. well, except for one of his sisters. the youngest he seemed to get along with. the elder of the two, well...it was best he didn't mention that one. they didn't speak often -- well, actually, they didn't speak at all, if they could help it -- and adrik was perfectly fine with that. he had other things to worry about, anyway. one of those things being adalynn volkov, his future wife. merlin, he would have been so ecstatic to call her that at one point. now, however, things were more complicated than ever between the two, and at the moment adrik only wished that he could take a load of ancient runes homework over this drama. not that he would trade his fiance for anything, but....well, the drama itself he could certainly do away with. he had to deal with other blokes that seemed to be standing in the way, whether that was alec or the other half of the school. frankly, it wasn't any of their business. what went on between himself and adalynn, anyway. the rest could be tossed around however they liked, but he wanted no part of it. especially if it had to do with alec andanov. not that he was a horrible bloke, but the fact that he was with adalynn at the moment made his blood boil. it was just something he was going to have to get used to -- despite trying not to think about it, he knew that it was his own fault that adalynn wasn't happily content with their engagement. if he hadn't broken her heart, the betrothal might not have been necessary.

in fact, had he gone against his parent's wishes, they would have fallen into his grandparent's master plan for his life. funny how fate works, he thought as he passed through the ravenclaw common room. for the past few nights, he hadn't gotten very much sleep, and some nights he didn't get any sleep at all. what adalynn dimitrov -- now known as adalynn volkov -- did to him to have him in this sort of trance, he really couldn't explain. it wasn't because of her mesmerizing blue eyes, or the way her words could cut him to his core. those were contributing factors, yes, but it wasn't what made him love her. what made adrik love adalynn was the way she treated him, ironically enough. with every other girl in the castle, he was adrik lestrange -- he could have anything he wanted, no matter if he had no business claiming it or not. but with bella, she made sure that he knew that she wasn't just something he could have for a moment and then toss to the side. perhaps that was why he loved her so much -- he knew that getting her back wasn't going to be effortless. in fact, he'd probably have to work harder than he ever had before -- but for her, his bella, he'd do whatever it took. unfortunately, so far nothing was going according to plan.

adalynn wasn't like other girls, so adrik couldn't expect to win her back with a bouquet of her favorite flowers, or a large box of chocolates. he knew that. melanie was easier to win over, but that relationship had ended a while back. adrik hadn't dated anyone since he had discovered he was engaged to adalynn, something that she was proving she didn't have to do. sure, he could have easily picked another girl to swoon over until he was forced to get married to a girl that hated his guts, but that would have been counter-productive. he hated the fact that the girl he actually loved wanted nothing to do with him, and he was playing right into what she wanted. it wasn't like he didn't have a hundred girls that wouldn't jump at the chance to be on his arm -- so why was he putting himself through this, really? well, that was simple: according to his heart, he didn't have much of a choice. furrowing his eyebrows, he gave a sharp glance to a teenage boy leaning against the entrance. "oy, you. move your arse before i move it for you." the boy quickly moved to the side, allowing adrik to exit the common room. though he had chosen not to dwell on it, he knew where he was going. it was far too early for many students to be awake, and technically adrik was supposed to be doing his prefect duties -- however, those would simply have to wait. he hadn't seen a trace of adalynn since their last....encounter, and he knew good and well what that meant. either she had died, or she was avoiding him. he was trying to be optimistic, so he vouched to believe the latter.

automatically, his brain once again tried to figure out why she would have avoided him for so long. sure, she had been slightly intoxicated when they had....well, anyway, it wasn't much of a reason to avoid him. besides, it wasn't like they weren't going to be married in a year. even if they hated each other after that point, those types of things were still expected to happen. adrik had chosen not to dwell upon their previous meeting, considering all the things that happened that night. he knew that he shouldn't have given in -- merlin knew that it was wrong, especially given that she hadn't been herself at the time. pushing all these thoughts aside, adrik stepped through the hospital wing, walking towards the head nurse that greeted him with a polite smile. "mr. lestrange, what can i do for you?" adrik sighed for a moment, never glancing towards any of the beds. "i'm looking for a student. adalynn volkov?" she pointed her finger towards the end of the room, and adrik followed her direction until he stopped at the end of the bed, his eyes never leaving adalynn. "well, i'm certainly relieved to find you with a pulse." he tightened his jaw, placing his hand on the outer railing of the bed. "any particular reason why you couldn't tell me yourself?" though his question was pretty open-ended, he had a hunch; an unbelievably strong one. he was a ravenclaw, for merlin's sake. and it wasn't like he couldn't put two and two together. not that he really wanted to, in this case.

[/justify][/size]

[adalynn b. dimitrov]

[/color] adrik lestrange
thread setting ∞ hospital wing
word count ∞ 2368
playing on itunes ∞ nothing atm
notes ∞ <3 hehe!
credit ∞ too moi![/ul]

after a certain age in life, no matter who you were, there were things that happened that changed ones views on their life. sometimes it was for the better and other times it was for the worse. more often then not there was more then one life changing moment that took place over the years, but Adalynn felt as though she had more then enough change take place in her life in the last two years. feeling as though she had been on a rollarcoaster ever since she turned fifteen years old. ever since one Adrik Lestrange had walked into her life it had almost felt like. now on one hand Adalynn counted herself quite lucky to have the support team in her life that she had because without them merlin only knew where she might be at that very moment. perhaps dead or even dancing for cheap bills to support herself, who knew. the one thing she did know was that without Conner and Kaden in her life, the twists and turns she went through already she wouldn't have made it through them. as much as Adalynn wished that the things she had been through up until this point in her life had made her stronger, she ultimately knew they hadn't. they had only turned her more sour, if that was remotely even possible. they had turned a girl who once believed in fairy tales and happily ever afters into a cold hearted women, who opened her legs rather then her heart. it wasn't that she didn't try to love other men, she did and had even nearly succeeded with one but it wasn't the same. there was still a part of her that was guarded, a part of her that knew this wasn't the girl she was meant to be. Adalynn may have claimed that the things she did in life made her happy, but that wasn't completely true. not when she knew what real happiness felt like, not when she had experienced it and knew this was merely a shred of what she could be feeling. thats not to say that she wasn't happy with Alec, she was but it still wasn't the same. when Adalynn had been with Adrik, it had been a feeling that no words could explain. he made her smile without any effort, took away her fears with a single expression and when he held her... well it had been the greatest thing she had ever felt in her entire life.

when he broke up with her, the heart break she felt was only half of the pain. a broken heart could be mended by the right guy who had the right glue, but it was the other things that couldn't be replaced. the things that had once made her feel like she was something. having thought she was a muggleborn well trying to make her way in a pureblood world hadn't been the easiest thing, but with Adrik by her side he made it seem effortless. Adalynn had felt like she was someone when she was with him, which was why his reason behind breaking up with her had hurt that much more. she had thought she was special to him, he had been her first love and had meant the world to her. her over dramatics at the time only fueled her disillusion of not wanting to be without him. made her doubt if there was life after him, but she had come a long way since then. that was one of the hardships in her life that had changed her and it most certainly wasn't for the better. her happily ever after had come crashing down around her and at the time she had no idea how to fix it. no amount of glue would help. her friends were what had held her together, standing by her no matter what decisions or choices she made. merlin knew she made a ton of bad ones. everything in her life seemed to go downhill from there, not even discovering she was pure helped. for not only was she still fighting to be in a pureblood world, she still needed to prove herself to everyone around her. a task that was nearly impossible. from winding up heart broken, to finding out she was pure, to sleeping with Kaden, to finally falling in the arms of Alec Andanov. each of these things played a role in changing Adalynn's life and none of them for the better.

however, there was finally one thing that happened that gave her hope. one thing that would terrify any sixteen year old, herself included. yet, it was the one thing that was finally making her turn her life around for the better. when a girl had a track record for sleeping around as bad as Adalynn did the news she had got nearly four months ago, shouldn't have come as much of a surprise. discovering she was pregnant, well it didn't really shock the population of Hogwarts. only it had shocked her for the simple reason that she was always so careful. regardless of her reputation she wasn't one to just carelessly sleep around, she was a firm believer in protection. it was the only thing that had helped her figure out just who the father was. the only way that Adalynn ever went without protection was if she happened to get carried away, caught up in the moment and didn't stop. the only people that ever happened with was her drunken moment with Adrik for her mind hadn't exactly been focused on much but the man who was surrounding her. him and Alec, for that man could make her forget just about anything at the best of times. everything she had once felt for Adrik, everything she had been working so hard to keep locked away had been reopened that night. those feelings were finally starting to take control of Adalynn and she utterly unable to fight against them since that night. they had ultimately been the final reason to her breaking up with Alec and had been the reason she was still currently single.

breaking up with Alec had been one of the hardest things Adalynn had to do in a long time. she hadn't cried that hard since things had ended with Adrik. she missed him dearly but deep in her heart she knew it wouldn't have been fair to stay with him. no matter how easy it would have been to remain his girlfriend, to convince him the child was his, it wouldn't have been right. it was in that moment that Adalynn realized she was finally growing up. her life was no longer just her own, she had to think for two now. having this whole other life that she would need to take care of soon she knew that she had to start focusing on creating a life her child would be proud of. with the way that she had grown up, Adalynn swore to herself that her own child would never go through that. they would never doubt how much she loved them and they would never be alone. she didn't care if it would be nontraditional to show affection to her child, if one thing was for sure her child was going to be loved and not used as a pawn in her life. ever since ending things with Alec she had been trying to make things right in her life. taking care of herself and her baby, doing everything on her own even though she knew full and well she didn't have too. the support she had from her friends was great but it wasn't the same support she could be getting and she knew that. that though was where avoiding Adrik had come in. she knew he was far from dumb and would start to piece things together if he hadn't already. the entire school knew she was pregnant so she knew the moment he got her alone he'd want answers. rightfully so she owed them to him but that didn't mean she was ready to give them to him. avoiding him wasn't exactly hard, they were part of different houses after all. that was really the only thing saving her and even that sometimes was ify. he was a prefect for merlin's sake and could get in anywhere he wanted, except up the girls dorms stairs.

her reasons for avoiding Adrik though were also a bit more selfish then she let on. not only was she not ready to have to deal with telling him he was going to be a father but she wasn't ready to deal with the question of them. being alone in a room with him was dangerous for her. he made her loose all sense of thought and lately she was having more and more thoughts of how happy they could be again. both of them knew that in the end they'd be together, whether they liked it or not. now with a child in the mix, being together only seemed like the right thing to do. the only thing was, Adalynn wasn't sure if she was ready to trust him again. granted she had noticed that he hadn't dated anyone since breaking up with that Gryffindor girl. she also could never get his admissions of feelings for her out of her mind, even those that were made when she was drunk. there wasn't a single thing that she didn't forget about that night, for it had been like a blast from the past. Adalynn was very aware though that eventually Adrik would catch up with her, it would only be a matter of time.

that alone was part of the reason that she was also so careful whenever she went anywhere. having given up her beloved heels after the holidays she now wore flats, which made no noise at all when she walked. making it easier to get around the castle undetected. she normally traveled about before any other students were up or way after they had gone to bed. one thing she made sure to do was schedule her appointments with the schools healer in the early hours of the morning to make sure he didn't catch up with her. today had been no different. she had awoken early in the morning, showered and changed into something more presentable and then carried onto the Hospital Wing. going to the appointments alone wasn't exactly something she fancied but she didn't wish to wake anyone up to go with her. the first time she had heard the baby's heart beat had practically blown her away, it was the first time she had really let it sink in that a life was growing inside her. she had an ultra sound image from every appointment that she was keeping in a book that she had picked up on one of her many trips to Hogsmeade. after wiping the goo off her stomach as the healer walked away Adalynn had been in her own world, like she usually was after her appointments. she hadn't heard the healer greet Adrik and had nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard his voice behind her. taking a deep breath, she slowly turned around to face him. she didn't miss the anger in his tone, it was kinda hard not too. brushing some hair from her face and biting down upon her lower lip she knew she deserved this. "and a rather strong heart beat as well. would you like to feel?" even though she knew now was not the time to press his buttons it was almost instinctive for her to do so. then came the question she had been dreading. her eyes darted away from him and she looked down at the ground, though her eyes promptly landed on her stomach. "yes, there are quite a few of them actually." Adalynn replied, rather shamefully as she did so.

"none of which i'm sure you'll like." sitting back down upon the bed, since no body else was in there. she'd rather not cause a scene with the father of her child so she figured the Hopsital Wing was as safest place as anywhere else. "for starters its not exactly the easiest conversation to have with someone." it had been her opening argument for she knew first hand how hard it was to bring up the mere mention of a child to a guy. she had to discuss it with a few guys much to her dismay. "what did you want to me to do? oh hey Adrik, how's your life going? oh by the way i'm pregnant and there's a good chance it might be yours!" she mocked the conversation piece that had went through her mind several times. "and thats another reason i didn't come and tell you. i mean, i suppose i always knew you were the father, but that doesn't mean i wanted to believe it. not when the father could have been Alec or- others." running a hand through her hair she sighed heavily. "besides, i was with Alec, him being the father made sense." placing her hand over her stomach she bit down on her lower lip, chewing softly upon it. "add all that too the fact that its technically not wise to tell people before the three month mark because something could go wrong and well... i think i've answered your question." Adalynn really had no idea how he was going to react to any of this. a confrontation with him was exactly what she had been trying to avoid but it seemed to be exactly what she was going to get.

[/size][/justify][/blockquote]

[adrik n. lestrange]

[/color] adalynn dimitrov.
words: 1384
music: watching hp6. (:
notes: teehee. i loves them.
[/ul]

Adrik Lestrange couldn't even begin to sum up how he felt about Adalynn Volkov. sure, he loved her -- afterall, would he have gone through all this if he didn't? -- but what made him love her? Ada was a stunning girl, anyone with eyes could see that. her being beautiful was only a part of why he cared for her so deeply. no, there was something entirely different about his Bella that somehow managed to captured his heart in one glance. that while he had been known around the castle as a tool before her arrival, shortly thereafter everyone realized just how serious he was about getting back the girl he had lost a summer before. Adrik had broken up with Melanie Peakes -- a pretty Gryffindor who somehow managed to care for him regardless of how often he pushed her to the side whenever Ada came into view. in the end, it hadn't been fair to Mel -- so Adrik broke things off with her, and that had been the end of it. that was the very last relationship Adrik had had to date -- the remainder of his time had been spent trying to find ways to make up his past mistakes in the form of flowers or any other romantic gesture he could come up with. until the lockdown, nothing seemed to work. but when he proposed to her formally and semi-romantically (so he liked to believe, anyway) she had accepted. it wasn't as though she had a choice in the matter, really -- but she hadn't hexed him, hit him, or told him to take a dive off the highest ledge. she had said yes, and Adrik had taken that as a sign.

but somehow, he had gotten his wires crossed. Adalynn was seen at the dance with Alec Andanov, the very bloke that Adrik couldn't stand. there was just something about him that Adrik didn't like, and to see his -- his -- Bella with him? merlin, Adrik saw red whenever he witnessed the two of them together. it was highly beneficial for Adrik to be a prefect, in this instance. while he wouldn't abuse his power, he certainly wouldn't object to giving Alec a few sets of detentions just for the sake of doing so. perhaps that was abusing his power, but...he was sure that Eme might agree with him. besides, it wasn't as though Alec didnt' have his foes. if Ada stayed with the bloke long enough, Adrik could have certainly found them and used them to his advantage. he was a Lestrange through and through, in that way. he was typically pretty nice towards everyone, finding no reason in shoving children down stairwells for no reason whatsoever -- but that wouldn't stop him from going after something he wanted. in this case, that something was Bella, and he would stop at nothing to have his way. Adalynn knew good and well how Adrik felt -- once upon a time, she had felt the same way. the memory of their fight at the lake flashed before his eyes, and he quickly sought to erase it as quickly as it had come. he was forced to push the terrible memory to the very back of his mind -- otherwise, it might have shown up as his boggart a few days prior during an exercise in class.

Adrik sighed, running his fingers through the back of his hair. he subconsciously reminded himself to have a haircut soon -- though that was the less worrysome of his problems. right now, he needed to know why Ada had been avoiding him like the plague lately. sure, they'd had a nightcap in the room of requirement, but...that didn't really mean anything, did it? certainly not a justifiable cause to ignore your fiancee for a month....or two. Adrik shook his head again. it was probably his own fault that she hadn't talked to him recently. he had been completely sober, while she was not....obviously. a rather frightening thought kept creeping into his mind, though the logical side of him quickly pushed it away. he had to be sensible about this. just because they slept together and she had avoided him for a month...that didn't mean anything, did it? she was just ignoring him like she usually did -- probably sneaking out with Alec and carrying out her usual routine. Adrik was generally never cross with the head nurse, but today wasn't one of those days. in fact, Adrik couldn't quite recall any day that he had been so nervous -- except, of course, for the day that his parents had told him to cut his ties with Adalynn. merlin, that was another terrible memory the two had shared. to everyone else, it seemed as though Adrik and Adalynn were two completely different people who couldn't manage to hold a decent conversation without fighting. the truth, however, is that they were like two magnets, forced to love one another through an undeniable attraction that they had never been able to explain.

it was a science that Adrik had never been able to explain to his parents, who had been far too condemning of his and Ada's relationship from the beginning. his father, for the most part, had allowed it to continue throughout the summer, believing that his son was merely having fun before his next year at Hogwarts begun. once the truth began to reveal itself on just how true his feelings for Bella were, however, his mother stepped forward to intervene. rebecca had never been a forgiving soul, and his father wasn't much different. between the two of them, he knew that his relationship with Adalynn would have never survived. he would have become the next Sirius Black -- and between his adoration for all his siblings, and the loyalty to his family....despite how much he loved Bella with his entire heart, he simply couldn't betray them. so he had broken up with the love of his life, and she had never been able to forgive him for it. Adrik couldn't blame her for being angry with him, or dating other people just to get back at him. in reality, he might have done the exact same thing. and he had, up to a point. as Adrik floated back into reality again, he furrowed his brows and allowed his eyes to close for a brief moment. no, he wasn't about to feel sorry for her now. "no, not now. this isn't a game, Bella." he paused, waiting for her to finish. "anything might have been better than nothing at all, Ada. that's.....kind of a serious thing to talk about. and i think that i had the right to know." though he was slightly hurt that she hadn't told him about something so important, but the next bit of her statement forced his jaw to clench again. "alec? you wanted alec to be the father? i'm sure that would've turned out well." Adrik temporarily ignored the fact that she had basically told him that he was the father. at the moment, he was preoccupied with being frustrated. "but you're not marrying alec, though." he replied, looking a bit defensive. merlin, he was going to have to work on this. after exhaling, Adrik moved over beside Ada's bed, sitting down on the end. "is it....going to be alright? the baby, i mean? and....and you?" his voice was considerably softer, his eyes staring directly towards her stomach where a child had begun to develop. merlin, it felt as though his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. but, somehow....it was in a good way.

[/justify][/size]

[adalynn b. dimitrov]

[/color] adrik lestrange
thread setting ∞ hospital wing
word count ∞ 1497
playing on itunes ∞ nothing atm
notes ∞ t'awe! <3
credit ∞ too moi![/ul]

"awe poohy. we both know how much you Lestrange's enjoy your games. i just thought i would play along." giving him a mock smile, then rolling her eyes. she knew very well it wasn't a game but with all the horomones running through her system it wasn't exactly the easiest thing to keep her own emotions in check so she opted for some humor. apparently that wasn't the way he wanted to go with this. in a way though, it intrigued Adalynn to see him jumping feet first into things, without even thinking. sure, she knew he had probably given this a ton of thought she had given him amble time to do so. just the way he was acting though, showed no trace of thought put into anything he was saying to her. it made her smile just a little bit, to see the renowned Ravenclaw loose his head the way he was. it wasn't very often that it happened but she could recall every time it had. it had always been rather attractive on him, seeing him so determined and head strong. he wanted answers and by gloy he was going to get them, his determination wouldn't let him walk away without them this much she knew. it must have been a Lestrange thing. "i suppose you would see it that way." Adalynn sighed. "its not every day people keep things from a Lestrange, right?" she was pushing buttons she knew she shouldn't be pushing but she was trying to make him see things her way. "yes it is a rather serious thing to talk about and perhaps you did have the right to know." she couldn't honestly believe she was agreeing with him, but it was probably the best thing to do to keep his temper at bay. "but you were the one person i didn't know how to tell. having any kind of conversation with you hasn't exactly been the easiest thing in the world, let alone having a conversation with such consequences." she didn't see any sense in lying to him, especially not when he deserved the truth. "i wanted to make sure, without any kind of doubt, that the baby was yours. i know you Adrik, if i had come to you and simply told you that i am pregnant and think its yours, your reaction would have been something i couldn't have dealt with." part of Adalynn was sure that he wouldn't have cared if she simply thought it was his he would have been excited just at the idea, much like Alec had been.

if it wasn't for her pride, she may have cringed slightly at the rise of anger in his voice. however her pride kept her from reacting at all, since it was pretty much all she had at that point in her life. she refused to show weakness around Adrik, not until she knew where they really stood. he use to be the one person she could truly be herself around, fears and all, but that all changed and now she still felt as though she had to remain guarded around him. it was no way for either of them to enter a relationship but Adalynn really couldn't help it. what made it odd though was in the same breath, she wanted so desperately just to fall in his arms just to have him hold her. in his arms she always felt the safest, like she could do anything and get through anything. it amazed her how that worked out. one person who could make her cower and guard herself was also the one person that made her feel the safest she ever had. ultimately though it made perfect sense because Adrik was also the one person who with the slightest of touches could break down any guard she had. "i do love how you jump to conclusions." shaking her head at his outburst. "i didn't say i wanted Alec to be the father, i said it made sense." turning her head and looking over at him, holding his gaze. "i was dating Alec when i found out, it made sense for the baby to belong to him. even though i told him that there was a chance of the baby being yours. it was just easier to let people think it was his, though i am sure no body did with my reputation and all. plus he was there for me. before you say anything i know you would have been too if i would have let you." Adalynn knew that would have been his rebuttal she knew him rather well, or at least she thought she did anyways. "no, i'm not marrying Alec. do you honestly think that your prestigious parents would allow a marriage to a girl who was carrying a child that wasn't your own?" raising her eyebrow at him as she asked this. "we both know they wouldn't have." looking away from him and down at her hands she sighed heavily.

"its not that i'm not happy to be marrying you Adrik, please don't think that." knowing she wasn't exactly painting a good picture for him with her previous statement. "i wasn't exactly pleased when i first discovered this news but i've come around. things were just so much more simpler with Alec." her gaze coming to rest on the engagement ring that was on her finger. "i know this isn't what you want to hear but your going to hear it anyways. he was always someone that intrigued me, even before i met you. when you walked into my life though, no body else existed, no body else mattered. until you walked out of my life just as quickly. when i found out i was pure, Alec was the first one i turned too. aside from Conner of course. of the course of time Alec came to be there for me in ways i can't even begin to explain and when i was dating him it all just made sense." rubbing her thumb over the back of the ring, gently closing her eyes. "it was like we were perfect for one another. he made me feel things i hadn't felt since loosing you, the only problem was just that though. he wasn't you." merlin she had no idea where all of this was coming from, but was sure it was better to get it out now rather then later. "i could date a hundred guys, and they could each make me feel the way you did but they'd never be you." it had taken her quite some time to come to that conclusion and now she saw no sense in running from it. though after everything she put him through she wasn't sure if he still wanted her and she honestly couldn't blame him. "things may have been simple and easy with Alec, but if i wanted this baby to be his Adrik i'd still be with him." Adalynn turned her gaze to look back at him.

following his gaze to her stomach she bite down softly upon her lower lip. "the baby is going to be just fine. Healer says its doing well, good and healthy so far. we have about five more months to go before it graces us with its presences though. thats when we'll find out if its a girl or a boy. i don't want to know until then, but the Healer will tell you if you want to find out." she actually wanted the surprise when the precious little baby was handed to her. "me? i'll be fine. i mean, i'm not exactly looking forward to the pain of labor and all that but i'm sure it will be worth it in the end. aside from the hormones and the crazy cravings, along with the bout of morning sickness and loosing the ability to wear my heels, everything has been fine." she didn't exactly have it bad just yet, but was sure once the baby started kicking and she had the constant need to go pee it would be a bit different. "how are you handling all this now?" Adalynn asked, now that he knew the truth and everything else that went with it she couldn't begin to imagine what he was thinking or how he was feeling.

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