&&--/HOLDING ONTO SOMETHING BETTER

[emeline l. bletchley]

[/color] alec andanov
word count • 1560
thread setting • late day; community common room
listening too • fireworks katy perry
notes • let the arguing begin xD
credit • too moi![/ul]

a million and one things ran through her mind as she looked down at the letter within her grasp. it couldn't be true. it just couldn't be. well aware that her mother disliked her she really didn't think she would go to these lengths! dropping the letter upon her bed and running her hand through her hair this was simply insane. how did her life come to this? sure she had made her fair share of mistakes over the years, but she owned up to them and learned from them. what the hell was she going to learn from this?! merlin, this was going to be the death of her. the possiblity had been discussed over the winter holidays, but she really didn't think it would come to this. well, it hadn't really been discussed. she had been told it was going to happen soon, that the prospects were rather large for it seemed like she was wanted by many. just when she thought that she had managed to be free of the old time rules. just when she thought that she'd be able to forge her own path because her mother didn't care, everything came crashing down around her. the idea alone was so old and so uncalled for but the other person involved was just, wrong. out of all the families, out of all the prospects she didn't understand why he was being picked. sure a match between the two families would be great, but why did it have to be her? sighing heavily she picked up the owl once again and stared at the name of her future husband. Alec Andanov. the name alone seemed to sucker punch her right in the stomach and made her loose her breath no matter how many times she had read the owl over.

there was no way that this wasn't done on purpose, that her mother didn't know just who she had tied the rest of her life with. Alec had been her first boyfriend, her first love and well her all around first everything. they would have been great together, had her mother not ruined that. feeling her knees go weak Emeline sat down upon her bed and closed her eyes. it was like her past was coming back to haunt her. after all these years, when she was finally able to put it all behind her, it was coming back with full force. three years ago she had been much different then she was now and Emeline wanted to think that the change in her was for the better. back then she had been just as cruel as the people that she called friends in the pureblood world. at times she was even cunning and sly, it had made her the perfect match for Alec Andanov. they had met like most pureblood children do, at one of those god aweful balls that they were forced to attend. where parents got to parade their children around and show them off, hoping that when the time came one of the highest respected families would be the largest bidder for their childs hand. the Bletchley family alone was one of those families and since they had no sons to carry on the family name, it all laid on both of the daughters. Emeline's mother was never impressed with her no matter how hard she tried, and when she was younger she tried so very hard. her mother hadn't even been impressed when she had caught the eye of Alec Andanov, not until they had started dating anyways.

even though they had only been thirteen at the time, in the pureblood world that was almost as good as being sixteen. the families were thrilled with the pairing, especially since they had come together on their own. Emeline's own mother hadn't thought she'd amount to much until then, but landing a pureblood male like Alec was something to be proud of regardless. not that Emeline paid much attention to her mother, her thoughts were always too caught up with Alec. they were thirteen years old, it was puppy love to the most extreme and they really were a great couple. a great power couple. the Andanov's were like the Lestrange's or the Bletchley's of Russia, bringing the two of them together just meant trouble for everyone else. he had meant the world to her. he was her first real kiss from a boy as well as her first time. neither of them had really realized what was happening until it had happened and even then she couldn't bring herself to regret it. she had thought she was in love with Alec, it had been the right thing to do in her mind. no body else had known, at least not to Emeline's knowledge. perhaps that had been where she had went wrong, not gushing about it. then maybe her mother wouldn't have done what she did, how a mother could do that to their own child Emeline would never understand but it was done. she could only thank merlin that Alec had been her first because it was probably the only thing that got her through it all. that had been the thing that changed their relationship. after something like that happening to her Emeline just withdrew from the world. the one person in the world that she should have been able to turn to was Alec but instead she had found herself turning to her best friend Scorpius. she was terrified that Alec wouldn't believe her so she became distant with Alec, would cringe when he would touch her until finally she broke up with him.

it had killed her to do so, she had so desperately just wanted to tell him what had happened but who would believe her? at that point in her life she didn't think anyone would. breaking up with him had broke her heart and it was a complete year before she let another guy touch her. other then Scorpius of course. she was very aware of the fact that Alec hated her, if she hadn't been aware she was now after the transfer. the cold looks, the barely acknowledging her, she knew Alec well enough to know he hated her and he had every right too. this engagement definitely wasn't going to help things that was for sure. leave it to her mother to mess her life up even further. things had been a mess ever since Carter and her had broken up and now, well now she had no desire to be Mrs Andanov. there was a part of her that wanted to tell Alec the truth, but she doubted he would believe her even less now. especially since he hated her and had no reason to believe her. shaking her head Emeline reached over and opened the drawer on her bedside table. sticking the owl inside and then locking it she wiped away the tears that had rolled down her cheeks without her even noticing. looking at her reflection the hardest thing about this engagement would be telling Tucker. things with him were still on thin ice, this wasn't going to make them any better. grabbing one of her sweaters and her book bag Emeline decided to go and do the only thing she could do at this point. bury herself in her studies. Alec would surely be pissed when he found out about this little engagement so it was best that she avoided him and she was being cowardly and avoiding telling Tucker for now.

draping her sweater over her satchel, the only thing Emeline couldn't figure out was why Alec didn't just purpose to his girlfriend and save them both the trouble. it would really kill two birds with one stone in Emeline's mind, since she was still trying to find a way to get Sienna out of Adrik's life. the only reason she wasn't doing anything was because her cousin foolishly loved the girl. just because Emeline was a Ravenclaw and had changed it didn't mean the cunning ways in her were completely gone, especially when it came to protecting those she cared about like her cousins. there were very few people in the world that Emeline would do anything for but Adrik ranked up there with Embry, who were more like brothers to her then cousins. exiting the common room and heading out into the corridor Emeline made her way towards the Community Common Room, since it seemed to be the only place that she could get any work done these days. even the Ravenclaw Common Room had been too loud for her likings as of late, filled with happy people that she just couldn't handle. the only time she seemed to be happy as of late was when she was with Tucker or hanging out with one of her cousins or Xavier. pushing the door open to the Common Room she flopped down on the couch and closed her eyes. Emeline really had no idea how she was going to get out of this one, but she had to figure something out and soon.

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[alecksander m. andanov]

pulled all the stops, you left me here alone

[/color]
SITTING ON FIRST BASE ----------------------
-------------- STILL WAITING TO GET HOME[/font][/center]

as if he needed more stress. as if he needed one more reason to throw himself off the astronomy tower. as if he wanted this. but no, what he wanted didn’t seem to matter in this situation. it wasn’t up to him. it was his parent’s wishes, and as a good pureblood son, it was his duty to follow what his parents wanted. otherwise, this wouldn’t be an arranged marriage, would it? it would be a marriage by choice, and that was just against all pureblood rules, wasn’t it? happiness? oh, that was just another word to be forgotten once you left school. once you were finished with school, the point of life was to marry the girl your parents chose, find a job within the ministry- or something else that was high in rank among the wizarding community- get yourself a mistress and live a life of forced bliss, pretending to love your wife, all the while sneaking around behind her back. oh yes, that was what was expected of alec, and the rest of the male pureblood population. it was a sin to even think of diverting from the path. but as he looked at the letter in his hand, that was all he could think of. damn it. if only emile’s parents weren’t so bloody sadistic. had he not been betrothed to arietta, alec would’ve asked for both parents’ permission to marry her by now. hell, at this point, he’d have his grandmother’s ring on her finger by now. his parents wouldn’t have objected. she was pureblood, and from one of the better families england had to offer. she wasn’t a lestrange, but she was still up there in the pureblood world. that was all that mattered to his parents. alec would’ve married her in a heartbeat, had she not started parading around the school pretending to be all happy with his best mate. so that road was closed. since alec hadn’t found himself a pureblood girlfriend who wasn’t already betrothed to someone (oh, the look on his parent’s faces when he brought adalynn home for the holidays- that was priceless), it was now up to them to find him a suitable fiancé. and, oh happy day, they had.

when alec saw the name written in his mother’s immaculate cursive, he immediately wanted to fall over. his parents really didn’t pay any attention to the girls he brought home, did they? the fact that she was a brunette was enough to make him want to pass out. but the name attached to the ugly head of black hair was even more of a shock. well, on the bright side, they at least paid a little attention to him. not much, but a little. that was a relief. they just didn’t pay quite enough attention. of all the pureblood girls for alec to be betrothed to, his parents set him up with his very first real girlfriend- emeline bletchley. of course. the one girl alec hated more than anyone on the planet, and his parents wanted him to marry her. yeah, that wasn’t happening. he didn’t really care if he got himself disowned. he would rather be banished to romania then marry that girl. she was the bane of his existence. absolutely gorgeous, but the bane of his existence. when they met three years ago, she was this gorgeous bombshell of a girl, who seemed to be his perfect match. her looks had only improved, but everything he used to adore about her was now gone. she wasn’t nearly as cold or sly as she used to be. she was softer now, and alec found it… disgusting. she wasn’t the person she used to be, the person alec was so interested in. even if the circumstances of their break up were different, he would still cringe at the idea of marrying her. he couldn’t have a wife like her. he just… refused. it would be the same marriage his parents had. in public, they would put on the front of being completely in love with each other. but behind closed doors, they would sleep in separate beds, and barely speak to each other, all while alec was seeing a younger blonde, who he was actually interested in, but only after he and emeline had one little boy. then everything would be fine.

if alec and emeline didn’t have a past, then alec would have no issue marrying her. but of course, she was old news to him, and he never went back to a girl more then once. but it was more then that. when they met, alec and eme were more or less the same person; cold, sly and mature beyond their years. they didn’t act like they were thirteen years old. by the time they hit that age, they were acting like they were sixteen or seventeen. they spoke more elegantly than most kids their age, and acted like they were adults. it was the way things went in the pureblood world. if you acted your age, you were frowned upon. it meant the parents weren’t being strict enough on you. the bletchley’s and the andanov’s were equal in rank, and both had the same policy toward their children. it was very hands off, but also very strict. when alec first met emeline, he was taken by her beauty, as was his best mate. they sat at one of the tables for twenty minutes discussing how gorgeous she was, and who would get to go flirt with her first. when alec won the coin toss, he did what any pureblood boy would’ve done. he asked her to dance. during the course of their waltz, alec pulled out all the stops and started flirting with her non stop, commenting on everything from her dress to her curls to the necklace around her neck and the way it made her eyes sparkle. by the end of the gala, alec knew he was meant to be with this girl. so he asked his parents to set them up on a more private date. it would’ve been easier for him to ask her himself, but going to different schools made things a little harder. it was easier when the parents were in on the relationship. two dates was all it took. on the second date, he brought her a necklace, and asked her to wear it. as he went to close the clasp, he leaned in and kissed her. that was the beginning of a power couple no one was quite ready for, not even then. it was equal to the arrangement between the black family and the lestrange family two generations ago. no one could rival the two of them. in hindsight, things went very fast, and went too far. but in the moment, letting emeline be alec’s first time seemed like a good idea. it was the first time for both of them, and alec was nervous as hell, but both of them were. maybe it was mistake, and what led to the downfall of the both of them. she became distant, and wouldn’t even let him kiss her. he wasn’t sure what he did wrong, and no matter how many times he tried to get her to talk to him, it wouldn’t work. eventually, she just ended things. he would never admit it, but it broke his heart, as much as it broke hers.

from then on, alec became colder then he already was. he shut himself off from the world, and the idea of love. from then on, he couldn’t look at another brunette girl the same way. every time he looked at a girl with hair as dark as emeline’s, he would think of her, and that was never good. so he started being more and more picky with who he was with. at first, they just couldn’t have black hair. then it became anyone that was a brunette. when people asked him why, he just acted like he was disgusted by them. he simply supplied that blondes were more his type, and he didn’t want to be with anyone else. the pureblood part of it was obvious. his pureblood mentality exuded from him. no one questioned that part. they just never understood his issue with brunettes. had his parents not noticed that every single ball he was required to go to, he either brought a floozy little blonde, or kyra? and kyra was his best friend. she was a brunette, sure, but he had no desire to sleep with her. she was like his sister. that would just be gross. he only brought kyra when neither of them had a date, which tended to happen a bit. if it wasn’t alec who brought her, it was rett. that was what best friends were for. but other then kyra, it was always a blonde. always. and if he went alone, during the course of the night, he would find a blonde that looked bored and swept her away to one of the empty rooms upstairs. he brought adalynn volkov home for the holidays- hell, he was dating her. did they not notice these things? no, they didn’t.

he needed his mates. he needed them now. grabbing his bag so he at least looked like he was going to be productive, alec made his way up the fourth floor. he debated on going to the library, knowing that logan would at least be there. he always seemed to be there, working on his studies. he was the only one getting the other three through their classes, especially with all the drama in alec’s life, and rett’s as well. alec hadn’t paid much attention since rett and kyra had broken up, choosing his sister over the guy who hurt her, no matter if he was one of alec’s best mates. they would get over it eventually- they always did. but before he got to the library, he turned the corner and headed to the community common room. his potions essay could wait. for now, he just needed to relax. he would eventually run into someone he knew and could stomach, right? as he walked in, he looked around. he completely froze when he saw her, leaning against the nearest wall. after a moment or two to collect himself, he pushed himself off the wall and sauntered over to where emeline was sitting, and leaned on the arm of the couch. “so, fiancé. how is this gonna work?” he asked coldly, rolling his eyes.

tagged: emeline bletchle
word count: 1754
wearing: yeah. i'm lazy
lyrics: gold team rules - for the win
notes: yay replies : )
credit: i made it my fucking self, dammit. graphic to caution.

[emeline l. bletchley]

[/color] alec andanov
word count • 1458
thread setting • late day; community common room
listening too • fireworks katy perry
notes • eep! <3
credit • too moi![/ul]

it was amazing how much her life had changed since she had broken up with Alec. it was like her entire perspective on things had changed after him and Emeline still wasn't sure if it was for the better or for the worse. before the age of fourteen Emeline was very much a pureblood elitist. the only person she was friends with that wasn't pure at that point had been Lorelai and that was more because of Liam then anything else. sure the Capper's weren't exactly up there in the pureblood world but she had been friends with Liam since she was a small child, so that wasn't going to change. however, that was where her kindness ended. she thought herself better then those who weren't pure and was just as bad as the rest of her pureblood friends if not worse. she believed because she was a Bletchley she had the right to act the way she did and that she deserved special treatment, which she often got. not only was she a Bletchley but she was the only daughter, therefore their parents only pawn in the pureblood breeding world. everything she was made her the perfect match for Alec. cold, cunning, cruel and to top it off bloody brilliant. she associated with the top of the top pureblood families only and that was just how it went. if a thirteen year old version of herself were to look at her life now, she wouldn't recognize herself. in fact a thirteen year old version of herself would probably look down on her for associating with half blood's and being in love with a Weasley. as much as the change in her life seemed to be for the better because she was a hell of a lot nicer and had more people in her life that she actually considered friends instead of acquaintances. there were times when Emeline couldn't help but wonder if the change was worth it. especially now since she wasn't even talking to Lorelai, someone who was suppose to be one of her best friends. changing back would be so easy, even more so now with the prospect of being the future Mrs Andanov. it would so easy to fall into her old ways if she could get Alec to forgive her. that however was the big if. though Emeline had come down to the Community Common Room to work on her studies, they seemed to be the furthest thing from her mind. still trying to wrap her mind around the entire engagement thing. the fact that she was engaged was mind blowing enough but the fact that it was to Alec was even more so.

it was probably a good thing that no body else was in the Common Room at that point, the silences was welcoming. all her life Emeline had always surrounded herself with people, it was just something she was used too. so she often savored the moments that she got to herself, for they usually came far and few between. it always seemed that whenever she would go anywhere, there would always been one person that she knew and merlin knew that if it was a fellow pureblood and she didn't associate with them her parents would find out about it. she felt the moment that someone else had entered the room though. even as lost in her own thoughts as she had been, she felt the change in the atmosphere. turning her head just slightly to see who had come in her thoughts instantly stopping. "Alec." the single word, the name, was barely a whisper as it left her lips. Alec. just seeing him made her breath waver in her throat and her knees go weak. which made her thankful that she was sitting down. it had been so long since she had actually talked to him, that she didn't even know what to say to him. they might have been quite young when they dated but what they had was real. it could have been so much more if things hadn't happened the way they had. though one thing that never changed was the way she felt about him. they never really had the chance to be friends before things blossomed between them but back then they worked very well together. those were the days when Emeline would do anything to put herself one step ahead of the rest. when she did what was expected of her without even batting an eyelash because it was the only thing that she knew. it was a time in her life when Alec was perfect for her, in some sense he probably was still perfect for her. she understood why her father picked him for her, but it didn't mean she liked it. Alec made her want to be that girl. the girl that impressed him with how devious her mind could be. the girl that completed him. instead now she was a girl that he hated and the worse part was that she couldn't blame him. the way she had ended things was far from fair to him, just pulling away from him the way she had. what had happened wasn't his fault but she had been so afraid of telling him. afraid that he wouldn't believe her, afraid that in turn he'd leave her. just afraid. Emeline didn't think he'd believe her anymore today then she did back then, but today she knew she owed him an explanation. she didn't expect anything in return, if he still hated her really she wouldn't blame him. she'd do anything to help find a way out of this engagement because if it was one thing she knew it was that he wouldn't want it. neither did she if she was being honest with herself, but a life married to the Alec that she use to know wouldn't have been so bad. if this arrangement had happened years ago, she would have been over joyed, they both probably would have been but now it was the last thing either of them wanted.

turning her head quickly, part of her hoping that he hadn't seen her but part of her hoping that she'd finally get a chance to talk to him. closing her eyes and trying to relax her breathing she bite down on her lower lip. hearing the shuffle of his feet as he walked further into the room, her heart kicking up a few notches in her chest. knowing that it was now or never to finally come clean about everything. feeling the couch shift under his weight, slowly opening her eyes to find him leaning on the arm of the couch. swallowing hard she forced herself to look up at him. practically shivering from the coldness in his voice, she had no idea how to answer his question. looking away from him and down at her hands she sighed softly. he made the word fiancee sound as though it was a curse or a bad word. "i didn't ask for this." where that had come from she wasn't sure, but she could just imagine the thoughts that had been going through his mind. Emeline's own voice sounded uncertain, for she didn't know how to talk to him anymore. "in case your looking for someone to blame." she added in further explanation of her previous statement. taking a deep breath she raised her head, refusing to cower from the situation and looked over at Alec. "as for your question. if your asking how this engagement is going to work? i don't know." it was the only honest answer that she could come up with for him. "its not exactly every girls dream to be matched to someone who hates them, but those sort of things hardly matter in the pureblood world." not that Alec would care of course. "Alec-" cutting herself off, forcing herself to look at him not wanting to seem like she was afraid of being around him. "if i wanted to explain what happened, would it even matter? would you even let me?" deciding how they were going to work with this engagement could wait. Emeline had to clear things up between them, or had to at least ask for a chance too. whether she wanted too relive that part of her life or not, it was something that she had to do.

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