`shadow of my mistakes

[kaden a. dobrev]

And how my mistakes Have made your heart break Still i need you here with me

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life was cruel. karma was a bitch. kaden had heard all of those cliches. and pretty much all of them had been coming into his mind lately. his life wasn't a walk in the park, or a piece of cake. in fact his mind was complete mush from all the thinking and stressing he'd been doing over the last few months. never mind his studies, which were hard enough and time consuming enough as it was, he had so much drama going on in his life right now he could probably write about ten season's worth of those muggle soap operas. it was enough to make any person, let alone a guy, want to go running off the top of the astronomy tower without a parachute. which, actually the hogwarts astronomy tower was pretty damned high, could hurt just a tad. maybe more than a tad, but kaden valued his life too much to test it.

the main source of kaden's stress and drama was centered upon one person. that person was his 'fiance' arietta. his fake fiance, the one he was being forced to marry. and not only marry but make it appear like it was all his idea to propose and that they were in love. it was horrid. more than that, kaden actually probably would have taken that swan dive off of the astronomy tower if he'd been given that choice instead of going through with the marriage. unfortunately kaden's father had for seen his reluctance, and had taken measures to ensure kaden did just as was wanted of him. the elder dobrev had threatened kaden that if he refused the arranged marriage than his baby sister would, instead, be forced into one of her own. now if there was one way to make damn sure kaden did just as his father wanted it was to threaten his baby sister. kaden would do anything to protect her.

the damned engagement wasn't the only thing causing stress and drama in kaden's life. there were two other women, aside from etta, who were causing their own fair share. kaden's best friend, adalynn, was one of those girls. they'd been friends for years, and there'd never been much else to their relationship aside from that. sure there'd been the odd thought or two to cross kaden's mind, but nothing much else. and then she'd had her heart broken, and like a good best friend kaden had been there with ice cream and firewhiskey in hand. the firewhiskey, in hindsight, may have been a bad idea. it led to them ending up in bed together. which led to kaden realizing he had some deep feelings for his best friend. but of course ada already had enough going on in her life, she didn't have feelings for him and he didn't need to be humiliated and loose his best friend. so he kept the feelings to himself. but he was still trying to figure out how to make her realize that he was the only guy for her.

and yet still more drama had been caused by that firewhiskey. because kaden had been in a relationship already. it was an off and on, complicated one but still a relationship none the less. and he'd really, truly cared for raina. still did really. but he'd screwed everything up and really hurt her when he'd hooked up with ada. kaden really wished things had gone better. but there was no taking back what he'd done. all that was left was to make it right. but kaden couldn't even begin to figure out how to make it up to raina. he was pretty sure he hated his guts now. and he wouldn't blame her. but it didn't change the fact he missed her. sure he was pretty obsessed with ada, there wasn't much room left with all the feelings for her rolling around in him. but he did still care for raina. if he'd let himself realize it those feelings probably went allot deeper than he knew.

some days kaden just did not want to get out of bed. today was one of those days. as it was a saturday it wasn't such a big deal. but he was pretty sure people would talk if he didn't get up. and people talking would lead to his father getting upset that kaden wasn't living up to his end of the bargain. so kaden threw back the covers and pulled himself up. throwing on a pair of jeans and a black button up, kaden ran a comb threw his hair and grabbed a jacket in case he needed it. it was passed breakfast and kaden wasn't that hungry so he walked right by the great hall and out into the grounds. he wasn't sure if anyone was out and about that he cared to see so he figured he'd just wonder. he hadn't really been down to the lake since first coming to hogwarts so he veered in that direction. he was kind of intrigued to see if this giant squid was actually real, and as friendly as some people claimed. he doubted it. grabbing the apple that was in his pocket from the day before kaden started munching on it as he reached the lake. finding a comfy looking bench kaden settled himself down on it in the sunlight and leaned back to let his mind rest for a change.

words:899
for:raina
wearing:blue jeans and black button up shirt.
notes:clicky!!!![/size]

[raina m. west]

THERE'S NOTHING MORE I WANT----------------------------
but revenge on you

to start things off, raina didn't actually know what to do with herself. it was mid march already and soon enough she would be graduating. graduation. merlin that sounded so weird. did she want to leave hogwarts? well that was simple yes, she didn't like it at all, she missed her old dorm, and her old teachers and her old life back at durmstrang where everything just seemed to click for her. the only real good part about being in hogwarts was how easy it was to avoid kaden out of class. it was simple. she would hide out in the gryffindor tower and if she got hungry she made sure that she was with friends. she didn't like public scenes, at all. they bothered her, they were only meant for those who wanted to publicize their live, and how much raina looked like it, it just wasn't her. she ran a hand through her hair and tapped her pencil against her desk. class should be over soon and though she usually took vivid notes today she wasn't up to it. suddenly the history of magic teacher released them and raina sighed happily getting out of her seat. she grabbed one of her ravenclaw friends by the arm. she explained how she needed today's notes having dosed off way to much and wanted to make sure that she hadn't missed anything. her friend agreed, after all they were friends. and she was off. it was still early in the morning. just towards the end of breakfast but she had already eaten on the way to class. it had seemed that not that many kids wore uniforms under their cloaks anymore. who would they were hideous! raina was one of those students. at least she wasn't dressing like a slut, plus it was still rather cold out, well that day, and she could imagine wearing shorts. she looked down at her watch. she still had three hours before her next class, before potions. she tried to remember if kaden was in that class or not but she honesty didn't want to. she couldn't anyhow, probably because she loves professor barbary so much that she didn't pay attention to anyone else in the class. she walked down to the dungeons and hide her bag in one of the empty ones not wanting to carry it around and she was off to walked around the school while she waited for her next class to begin.

her first stop was semi obvious, the entrance hall. she wanted to see if anyone was using anything they weren't supposed to be. after all she was a prefect. it was then that she spotted two second year durmstrang transfers about to fight, she quickly pulled her own wand out and stood in the middle of them. both kids started to put down their wands and made it look like nothing was going to happen but it was too late. raina was already taking five points from each of their houses, ravenclaw and slytherin, and giving them both a detention. she told them that even thought they didn't fight they were going to and that was enough for a detention. she felt proud of herself as she continued some rounds her badge appearing on her purple shirt. she slid her hand into her back pockets and kept walking towards the lake like it was the right place to be and then suddenly she recognized the back of a head that she didn't ever want to see outside of class... but like never ever. raina started to get angry at him. it was hi fault. he had gone to adalynn and had brought over the firewhiskey so it was his fault that they had slept together, the only reason she wasn't mad at adalynn was being it was ada would told her. she gave her some credit, she had been mad at first avoiding them both for about a day and a half but then broke down to ada which was weird since it was slightly her fault too. in the end she remained friends with adalynn, some what, and was now extremely mad at kaden but didn't that make her a hypocrite? she didn't know but did want to fuck with him some more. she walked up to him and sat on the bench next to him and just looked out into the lake. "i wonder how low class people feel about cheating,"

[/color] she pondered out loud. "...hey kaden, what are your views on it?" she asked raising an eyebrow innocently, she had just called him low class without having to spell it out for him. she liked being mean to him, it was a way to vent any angry feelings towards anyone and just place them on him, it was easier that way, at least for her it was. she gave him a fake smile.
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tag: kaden dobrev
word count: 960 words
outfit: here
lyrics: lyrics to me because i'm awesome like that XD
on itunes: nothinggggg
credit: everything to me,
notes: i had to put the gif up i just had to!

[kaden a. dobrev]

And how my mistakes Have made your heart break Still i need you here with me

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kaden had put himself through allot of shit as well. not all of it was because of other people. it was partially his fault that he had ended up in the position he was in with raina. he had gotten drunk, and somewhere in all of that had decided to sleep with ada. he still didn't remember how it had come about, or who had made the move. hell he didn't even really know what had happened. he remembered nothing from that night. and neither, as far as she had told him, did ada. it didn't make it any better. in fact it sort of made it worse. not knowing what had exactly led to it made it so kaden couldn't be sure who was to blame not that he guessed it mattered. at least not to raina. she seemed to hold him completely responsible. she and ada had made up sort of. but it seemed it was raina's sole mission in life to make kaden feel ten times worse than he already did. because he did feel terrible. cheating went against everything he stood for and thought about himself. he'd always felt he was better than those other slytherin guys, the ones who leapt from girl to girl. sure kaden had a reputation, to keep up his good pureblood slytherin persona. he had hooked up with girls, hell it wasn't like it was a chore to do so. he just didn't make it a habit to sleep with as many as most of his mates did. and he'd always treated the girls with the utmost compassion and care. he tried to let them down easy if he had to.

and he'd royally fucked up when it had come to raina. he knew that, he'd apologized for it repeatedly. but he wasn't an idiot. he knew just apologizing for it wasn't gonna make it go away or get better. he'd wanted to make it up to her, but again it wasn't really something you could make up to a person. but that didn't mean he wasn't trying to think of something still. in fact his mind often found it's way to trying to think of solutions when he let it relax. which was exactly what it had was doing as he sat on the bench at the lake. in fact it was so wrapped up in that that he didn't register footsteps. not until she sat down beside him did kaden realize raina was there. and he wasn't entirely happy to see her either. her words were nothing new. in fact he'd heard much the same thing just about every time she'd chosen to speak to him since the whole thing went down. and every time he apologized. repeatedly. so hearing her sing the same old song, well something finally snapped. "do you know what riana? i could apologize, yet again. but, really, i'm sick of it. i'm sick of apologizing and trying to tell you how truly sorry i am. it happened, i fucked up, i'm sorry, but i can;t change it. deal with it!"

words:515
for:raina
wearing:click!
notes:annnnnd done! sorry for being short. the rest will be better promise![/size]

[raina m. west]

THERE'S NOTHING MORE I WANT----------------------------
but revenge on you

raina was a real hypocrite. she blamed her boyfriend but not her friend for cheating. she didn't even know why she did something like that. she guessed that it was because she had been utterly in love with kaden when he did that to her and adalynn had been going through a heart break, that much she understood. but to not forgive kaden after she hadn't even fought with adalynn but have been some kind of blow to him and the fact that she was still so close to her best friend but you see adalynn was just that, raina's best friend and she couldn't ditch her best friend no matter how hard she tried. she would always be her best friend and nothing could change that. one day raina knew that she was going to regret haven been so mean to kaden, maybe if he became some multi millioner or something. she figured most of the times that she wasn't mad at him but mad at herself for still having some kind of feelings towards him when she wanted nothing to do with him, once a cheater always a cheater. but but he had been drunk so it hadn't really been his fault had it? but no there she went trying to change her own mind. this was why she was mad at herself which caused her anger to roll onto him since he was the easiest target.

she knew she needed to forgive him, not only to have peace in his life but hers. if they were on equal terms with each other then those classes that they had together wouldn't be awkward to be in. but they were and she didn't really feel like changing her entire life just to forgive him but she knew that she needed to do it and she needed to do it before he burst... too late. every time he said a new sentence she flinched slightly. at the last sentence raina just sighed and stood up turning her body towards the castle about to walk away but then she stopped and turned herself around. "oh you poor little piece of shit," she said her brain not filtering what she was saying and her not caring how mad he would be afterwards. "so what? you break my heart, you make me cry and then you think that after a few sorries that everything would be alright?!" she said her voice going louder and louder. "you freaking broke me!" she yelled, placing all the blame on his shoulders, it was all his fault, the way she was how she had turned out, all of it was his fault. "i came here to accept your apologize but now? burn in hell dobrev," she shook his head him and made a movement to move away from him towards the castle though there was barely any movement at all. he had successfully fucked up her entire day.

tag: kaden dobrev
word count: 628 words
outfit: here
lyrics: lyrics to me because i'm awesome like that XD
on itunes: nothinggggg
credit: everything to me,
notes: muse is low... sorry.